WHY I LOVE PETE DOHERTY

WHEN I LOOK BACK AT 2005, THE DOMINANT FIGURE IN MY POP CULTURE WORLD HAS BEEN MR. PETE DOHERTY . FOR ME, PETE STANDS HEAD AND SHOULDERS ABOVE ALL OTHER POP STARS. MY FRIENDS IN THE U.K. SAY THEY CAN'T STOMACH HIM ANYMORE BECAUSE OF HIS ONGOING PRESENCE IN THE TABLOIDS BUT I'M AS AWARE OF ALL OF THAT STUFF AS THEY ARE AND YET I STILL DON'T TIRE OF PETE. PETE FIRST CAME ONTO MY RADAR WITH THE RELEASE OF "WHAT A WASTER" BY HIS FIRST BAND THE LIBERTINES. I WAS HOOKED FROM THE START AND WENT ON TO BECOME A LIBERTINES COMPLETIST. I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN I OWN A HARD COPY WITH ARTWORK OF EVERY SCRAP THEY EVER RECORDED AND RELEASED THROUGH ROUGH TRADE. I HAD TICKETS TO SEE THEM TWICE WITH PETE STILL IN TOW AND WAS GUTTED WHEN THEY CANCELLED BOTH TIMES. THEY FINALLY SHOWED UP ON THE THIRD GO 'ROUND WITHOUT PETE WHO WAS IN THE U.K. BATTLING DRUGS AND THE LAW. SEEING THE LIBS WITHOUT PETE WAS KIND OF WHAT I THINK IT'D BE LIKE TO SEE THE STONES WITHOUT MICK OR KEEF. THE LIBERTINES WAS ALL ABOUT BEING THE SUM OF ITS PARTS AND THE ACT I SAW WAS A PROFESSIONAL, PALE FACSIMILE OF THE REAL THING. THE LIBERTINES TRUNDLED ALONG FOR A BIT AND FINISHED TOURING THEIR SECOND ALBUM AND CALLED IT QUITS. MY DREAM OF EVER SEEING A PETE/CARL LIBS LINE UP WAS IN TATTERS. MONTHS OF TURMOIL ENSUED, PETE GOING IN AND OUT OF REHAB AND IN AND OUT OF TROUBLE. THERE WAS A BRIEF REUNION WITH CARL WHICH ULTIMATELY TURNED OUT TO BE ONLY A PHOTO OP. THE LIBS DREAM WAS REALLY OVER. WELL ALMOST, BECAUSE I'VE DREAMED ABOUT PETE DOHERTY OR A PETE AND CARL REUNION NEARLY EVERY NIGHT FOR A YEAR AND A HALF NOW. THESE DREAMS USUALLY INVOLVE ME BACKSTAGE AT A LIBERTINES GIG WITH A RECENTLY UNITED PETE AND CARL. WE'RE ALL HANGING OUT HAVING A DRINK AND HUGGING AND WE'RE ALL CRYING AND I'M ALWAYS TELLING THEM THAT THEY'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH THEIR REUNION MEANS TO ME, THAT IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME AND THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY. WE ALL SWEAR TO ETERNAL LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP. THEN I WAKE UP AND I'M SERIOUSLY BUMMED OUT WHEN I REALIZE THAT IT WAS ALL ONLY A DREAM. CURSE THE LIGHT. I'VE FOLLOWED THE BABYSHAMBLES, PETE, KATE, MICK SAGA FOR AS LONG AS IT HAS GONE ON. SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO BE SICK OF IT BUT I'M DETERMINED TO SEE PETE THROUGH THE BAD TIMES.I DON'T FOLLOW THE STORY OUT OF MORBID CURIOUSITY, I FOLLOW BECAUSE OF MY REAL DESIRE, MOTIVATED BY A DEEP LOVE AND RESPECT, FOR PETE TO GET BETTER. I BELIEVE IN PETE. I THINK HE'S ONE OF THE GREAT TALENTS OF OUR AGE AND THAT HE'S GOING TO BEAT THE DRUGS AND GET HIMSELF SORTED. IS HE DESTINED TO BE THE CLICHE OF THE JUNKIE ROCK STAR? DO THE DRUGS FUEL THE CREATIVITY? MAYBE THAT'S HIS DESTINY. I HOPE NOT. IT'S UNDENIABLE THAT,FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN COMPLETELY STRUNG OUT FOR THE DURATION OF HIS RECORDING CAREER, PETE HAS MADE THREE RECORDS OF ENDURING BEAUTY AND INTELLIGENCE (THOUGH HE CLAIMS TO HAVE HAD LITTLE TO DO WITH THE SECOND WHICH I DON'T THINK I BELIEVE). THE BABYSHAMBLES RECORD (FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW, BABYSHAMBLES IS THE BAND PETE PUT TOGETHER AFTER THE LIBERTINES) CAME OUT NEAR THE END OF 2005. THE REVIEWS FOR IT HAVE BEEN MEDIOCRE, WITH MOST CRITICS TAKING THE STANCE THAT IT'S A POORLY SUNG, POORLY RECORDED RECORD THAT CONTAINS THE SEEDS OF GENIUS. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEEM THEM EAT THEIR WORDS IN 2 YEARS. MUCH LIKE OASIS' "WHAT'S THE STORY MORNING GLORY" (WHICH WAS GIVEN A VERY COOL RECEPTION ON ITS ARRIVAL), "DOWN IN ALBION" IS GOING TO BE RECOGNIZED FOR THE GENIUS, CLASSIC POP RECORD THAT IT IS. MY OBSESSION WITH IT MAY BE PURELY EMOTIONAL AND PURELY IRRATIONAL BUT I DON'T KNOW ANOTHER PERSON WHO HAS GIVEN THAT RECORD A FAIR SHAKE THAT HASN'T GROWN TO LOVE IT DEEPLY. I LOVE A LOT OF RECORDS, I LOVED A LOT OF RECORDS THIS YEAR, BUT WITHOUT HESITATION I CAN SAY THAT THIS WAS THE ONLY "PERFECT" ONE THAT ENTERED MY WORLD IN 2005. IT'S A REAL GEM, IF YOU'VE MISSED IT, I HOPE YOU'LL LOOK PAST THE HEADLINES AND GIVE IT A SHOT, YOU'RE LIFE WILL BE MUCH RICHER FOR IT. AS FOR PETE, I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT HE'S GOING TO PULL HIMSELF UP BY THE BOOTSTRAPS AND GET ON WITH IT BUT MY GUT FEELING IS THAT HE WON'T. I HATE TO ADMIT THAT THE ONE QUALITY PETE SEEMS TO POSSESS BESIDES HIS ABILITY TO CONSISTENTLY PRODUCE GREAT MUSIC IS HIS ABILITY TO CONSISTENTLY FUCK UP. I SUPPOSE ALL THE OLD CLICHES LIKE "THE LIGHT THAT BURNS BRIGHTEST BURNS FASTEST" APPLY HERE. I'M GLAD TO SAY THAT I'VE BEEN A WITNESS TO IT. I HOPE THAT I CAN GET TO SEE PETE PERFORM LIVE ONCE BEFORE THAT FLAME BURNS OUT. I ONLY HAVE TO THINK ABOUT SEEING PETE IN THE FLESH AND I WELL UP WITH TEARS AND EMOTION. CORNY GIRL AND I HAVE A PACT TO GET ON THE NEXT PLANE TO LONDON IF PETE CHECKS OUT. I SUPPOSE THAT'S ABOUT OUR DESIRE TO SHARE OUR GRIEF WITH PEOPLE WHO CARE FOR PETE AS DEEPLY AS WE DO. PETE DOHERTY, I'M NOT GIVING UP ON YOU, I REALLY LOVE YOU. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH JOY YOU'VE BROUGHT TO ME BUT YOU HAVE AND I'LL ALWAYS CHERISH YOU FOR THE MUSIC. I HOPE YOU CAN KEEP IT GOING FOR A WHILE LONGER.THE WORLD STILL NEEDS YOU. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

P.S.MY TOP TEN FOR 2005.